I was caught up in a broken system but it took me ten years to realise it. As a young adult in New York, I was constantly exposed to a specific picture of success. I thought that if I could tick off certain things in life, I would be successful and accomplished. You know the things: Get on an exciting career path, find a relationship, build your wealth and make a name for yourself. And you know, I was doing pretty well ticking these things off.
I was 27 years old and surviving the hustle of New York City. I was financially stable, I had an excellent job in Times Square, my life was in "order" and I felt like I had everything I needed. But I never quite felt fulfilled, there seemed to always be more that I needed to achieve. Even though I was accomplishing so much, internally I felt uncertain and woke up each morning with the pressure to tick off more things. I remember thinking to myself, “If this is what my life is going to be like, then I’m not so sure that this is the answer for my life.”
But I didn’t change anything. I didn’t look for another option, even though the more I kept going down this path, the more uncertain I was that this life would fulfill me.
Then things got really shaky for me. I lost my job. I lost my ability to make money and keep my financial stability. It’s interesting to look back on, the moment my career path became unstable and untrustworthy, my identity and confidence came crumbling down.
When your career is what defines you, losing it is like losing yourself.
Even though I was still presenting a confident exterior, inside I was rattled. I was self aware enough to realise that something needed to change and that I needed a constant, I knew I hadn’t been building my life on a solid and true foundation. Unfortunately, I still felt the need to be in complete control of my life and so the loss of my job wasn’t the catalyst for changing my worldview.
I thought that maybe moving to Australia (a dream of mine since I was young) would get me back on the right path. So I came to Sydney, but all that had changed was my location in the world, I was still trying to replicate the life I had in New York. I was in a new environment, but still living in the same broken system. God wanted to break me out of that system. He wanted me to get out of the uncertainty and need for control and to step into the clarity and freedom that trusting Him provides. It was time to let go of the worries and dependence on myself.
I needed to interrupt my life and grab a hold of something real. So I decided to study at C3 College.